Apr 30, 2019
What do you do when you’re unsure of your God-given gifts? How do you figure out your purpose? And what questions should you ask when you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything on your plate?
In this episode, Holly and I talk with Breshana Miller, wife, mom, business owner, entrepreneur, pastor’s wife, and Bible college student about how to have clarity about your calling, how to stop comparing yourself to others, and what time management is really about. Breshana has some “drop the mic” moments of wisdom that you do not want to miss.
Breshana’s Leadership Journey:
Breshana currently shares leadership duties with her pastor-husband, leads her family of three kids, nurtures and teaches those at their church, and she leads herself. Oh, and she has a corporate career too!
Breshana was given a leadership role during her time in the military when her chief promoted her to the team lead of her unit. She found this challenging because she’d never led in that way before and she was leading her peers. It all unfolded well, but she put a lot of pressure on herself because she didn’t want to make mistakes or fail.
Leadership Lessons Breshana Learned in the Military
- As a leader, you have to be selfless. Leadership isn’t about you. Always look out for those to your right and left.
- Care about the people you work with. Take the time to understand them before judging. The more you know about your people, the better you can lead.
How Breshana Transitioned from the Military to Ministry
For Breshana, the transition was radical because of the mindset shift. There are no options in the military; you do what you’re assigned. In ministry, people will tell you “no” or ask for time to pray and consider. She had to switch her communication style, learn patience, and develop a new level of compassion.
How Breshana and Her Husband Work Together in Ministry
There are lots of expectations of being a pastor's wife. She had to learn to have God’s help to get out from under the weight of people’s expectations that she looks perfect and hosts perfect parties. She doesn’t allow herself to get trapped by people’s expectations because then she’s not operating in her gifts or God’s grace. When you try to please people you live with a level of insecurity and anxiety.
She’s allowing God to lead her and she’s putting the weight of expectations on Him.
How Breshana Transitioned from Ministry to Business
God called her into entrepreneurship when she was in high school and sold Avon. As an adult, she wanted to take her entrepreneurial spirit outside the church so she could impact more women in a flexible way. That’s when she began her business as a coach.
Breshana’s Mentors
She has mentors and guides in her life and mentorship is an evolving process. In college, she had a professor who encouraged her to teach, but Breshana resisted. In the military, she was put in charge of training sessions by her superior officer. But in ministry, she felt unsure of what she should do.
As she heard God calling her to teach, she remembered these previous moments when others had tasked her with teaching. Through them, God affirmed her call to teach.
Breshana’s Advice for Younger Leaders:
- Don’t lead alone.
- Be teachable.
- Be willing to go against the grain. Be okay with the fact that not everyone will always agree with your decision. And don’t concede to other’s decisions because you want to be liked.
- Be transparent when you make a mistake.
Developing Confidence in Your Gifts
For The Woman Who is Unsure of Her Gifts
In her business, Breshana helps women to step into their giftings and purpose. She starts by having lots of conversations. For some women, God wakes them up to their own purpose. For other women, God uses other people to speak into their lives.
Your desire and your gifts must come together to understand what God called you and purposed you to do.
Ask yourself:
- What desire do I have?
- What distinct and natural abilities do I have?
The answers to those two questions will help you know what business to pursue.
She wants every woman to have clarity about who they are and what they desire. Then she can bring that plan to life with a vision, plan, and strategy. Every woman can have certainty in knowing what God has created her to do.
When you operate out of your gifts and desires, you don’t have to compare. Don’t allow the canvas of others to determine your masterpiece. You are God’s masterpiece and His vessel to bring His good works to earth.
How to Develop Confidence with Your Gifts
For Breshana, it took a while. For a while, she was very self-conscious. She felt frustrated with what to do so she asked God why. She realized that she was the source of her own frustration and she needed to step outside of herself. God made her the way He did for a reason. She also realized that:
- She can’t help everybody
- There are specific people God ordained for her to work with.
Breshana realized that God gave her her voice, gifts, and temperament to help certain women who would need her to be who she is.
You are where you need to be and you have everything you need to do what God’s asked you to do.
Growth comes from taking one step. God honors that one step because that’s faith in action. We must believe and then receive what God says about us. Allow the truth to take root and grow.
Stumbling Blocks Women Face as They Accept Their Gifts
Breshana says that women tend to believe that no one will value their gifts, and they perceive this before they’ve even taken one step. Women are considered with whether they’ll be valued and accepted. They also think through all the “What if” scenarios.
How Breshana Manages Her Time
Breshana wears a lot of hats and has great advice for how women can make room in their schedules for what God has called them to do.
Here’s what Breshana does to make her multi-passionate life happen:
- Makes sure here children are clear on the family calendar.
- Wakes up early.
- Has a housekeeper on an as-needed basis. Other times the entire family chips in to keep the house clean.
- Asks for help.
- Doesn’t have a “get-it-all-done” attitude.
Breshana’s Perspective on Time Management
Breshana believes that handling your schedule and completing tasks isn’t really about time management, it’s about work management, self-leadership, and surrender. God will make room in your schedule for everything He’s asked you to do.
“We say we don’t have time, but sometimes it’s because we’re not saying ‘yes’ to the right things.”
As women, we say “no” to others and “yes” to ourselves, but what are we saying to God?
God will work out your schedule so it doesn’t include anxiety and stress. When you do feel stressed asked why you’re stress and what that you haven’t yielded yourself to yet? Stress doesn’t come from God. Look to the Bible on how to manage your time. What does God say?
Breshana’s book recommendation:
- What Do You Think of Me? And Why Do I Care?* by Edward T. Welch
- Stop Playing Safe* by Maggie Warrell
Connect with Breshana:
Breshana Miller is a Business Empowerment Coach and Mentor for high-achieving service-based entrepreneurs and professionals. She helps women discover their purpose and leverage their unique gifts, strengths, and expertise so that they can monetize their brilliance doing what they know, love, and can get paid for.
She is also the Leading Lady of Remnant Fellowship Worship Center and serves as alongside her husband in ministry. She is a US Army Veteran and is also pursuing her doctorate in Biblical Counseling and certification in Gallup Strengths-based coaching.
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Key Quotes from the Episode:
- “One of the highest forms of leadership is self-leadership.”
- “We can’t please people nor should we try.”
- “Don’t depend on people to be the gauge as to how well you’re performing.”
- “Leadership is learning people.”
- “As long as you are standing in your gift, then there is no failure, and you don’t have to compare.”
- “Don’t allow other people’s canvas to determine what your masterpiece is.”
- “It’s not gonna be perfect because we are a work in progress.”
- “When you give God the ‘yes,’ He’ll work it all out.”
- “It’s not will of God for our life to be a stressed-out leader.”
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This episode was originally published on estherlittlefield.com/episode45. To join the Purposeful Leadership Facebook Group, go to estherlittlefield.com/group.